i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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