NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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