i think i have herpe
just one?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
