HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
