Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
