just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
