Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
