masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
