It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
