I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
