I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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