Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize