So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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