if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
