Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
