office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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