My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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