Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize