I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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