hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
