oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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