In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
