this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
