how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
