dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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