Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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