her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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