And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
