have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize