some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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