Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just found puke in my bra..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize