First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
