Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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