I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
