I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
