considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
