3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
