I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
