We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
