Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize