even my farts smell like vagina
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He felt like a one man threesome
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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