Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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