i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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