hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
