My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
