Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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