I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
