do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
