What did we do last night that was yellow?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
