I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
