he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
