You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
