I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
