I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
