I heard we made out
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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