if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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