i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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