some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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