my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
