No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
