My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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